On a frosty, ghost-town of a day at Old South Endian Warners Bridge, the rearranged fixture finally kicked off. Despite the eerie quiet and freezing air, the tension was high, and we were ready for action. Missing a few of our regular squad, we brought in a new secret weapon- Lois Kern. What a debut. Playing alongside her sister Nancy, the Kern sisters were an unstoppable duo, commanding the pitch like they’d been doing it for years.

We started strong, taking an early lead that sent shockwaves through both teams. Sam and John Peoples, whistle-wielding warriors and two of the club’s finest, weren’t here to mess about. The rotations were faster than a pub quiz buzzer. And shout-out to Max, who returned from her skiing trip ready to work. She may have swapped slopes for short corners, but she didn’t miss a beat.

Upminster’s forwards were relentless. Their number 11, in particular, was all over the place- quick, slippery, and impossible to pin down. I managed to keep tabs on her until the one time I didn’t. She slipped through and scored, leveling the game at 1-1. Cue the internal rage and maybe a bit of muttering under the breath.

Then came the short-corner marathon. Poppy was on fire, pulling off heroic goal-line saves that earned her the Player of the Match award. And I had my own dramatic moments- diving to save one on the right and putting another one over the goal, both just barely kept out. A bit over-the-top? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.

Ali, our star goalkeeper, had a moment of sheer brilliance. With Upminster closing in, Ali caught the ball between her legs. It was wedged so perfectly that it wasn’t going anywhere. The opposition just stood there, bewildered. Honestly, so did we.

Emily, decked out in her new “go-faster stripe” skirt, was a force of nature. The opposition couldn’t find a way past her. She zipped around like a blur, creating chances with every run into the D.

Our goal-scorers were Jen, Alice, and Paige. Paige, in particular, was an absolute terror on the pitch. She sprinted down the center every time she touched the ball, like someone had told her the pub was closing in five minutes. Upminster made us work for every inch, but Paige kept powering through, determined to make something happen.

Final whistle, and we won. Yes, 3-1. Old Southendian beat Upminster, a team way higher than us in the league. We were as shocked as anyone. It was an intense, end-to-end game, and every second was earned.

And in true post-match fashion, I rounded up the missing water bottles from all corners of the club. Expect them to be distributed like a hockey milkman in the coming days. You’re welcome. We also had the most amazing teas, thanks to Michelle and Sue. The rocket salad, rocky road pie, and rocking pizzas were an absolute delight- probably the only time we stopped talking about the game!

Shireen